


writing on the surface

by vinndetta



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Suzy is uh dead but it's before the events of the story so uhm yeah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 10:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17222627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinndetta/pseuds/vinndetta
Summary: One day, Arin wakes up to see the wordsLeigh Daniel Avidanscrawled on his wrist.He turns back over, arm slinged around Dan's waist, and falls back asleep with a hint of a smile gracing his features.





	writing on the surface

**Author's Note:**

> just wanted to write an egobang soulmate au and it turned into this so?? have fun? wanted to experiment with the complications of a universe where soulmates are a thing. turned kind of angsty but there's a happy ending :)

Arin doesn't like to talk about the scarred words on his wrist.

People liked to ask what it used to say, and he'd just say it appeared on his wrist at eighteen already a blackened, illegible mess. People ask too many questions, and Arin hates being interrogated about something that is none of their business, anyway. 

The truth? 

Suzanne Berhow died at the age of twenty, in a car crash where she was pronounced dead at the scene.

Arin used to keep his mouth shut about his deceased soulmate, but now it's shut even tighter, tied with knots that are wild and complicated to the point where he's pretty sure that it doesn't even have a name yet. With his basically-celebrity status as a YouTuber, he doesn't even answer questions about soulmates, just lets them spectulate. There's no need for all of them to know everything that happened, no need to really prove or disprove their fan theories. Honestly? He doesn't even care.

It's not that he loved her or anything. No, no.

He was absolutely smitten, absolutely in love with her.

It's not a big deal if he has fleeting thoughts of those times spent with her. But too much thinking makes him feel like he's not sure why he's still alive while she's not walking the mortal plane anymore.

That's the thing that everyone worries about - whether he's emotionally stable enough, whether he's become a broken man after her death. Truth be told, he doesn't feel like he's broken. There's something missing, for sure, but a two year relationship didn't last long enough for him to get too attached. It still hurts, yes, but he doesn't feel a need to constantly mope around and mourn her (at least, not anymore, not since those first three years after her death).

Well, either way, Arin got over it, and he swore to himself that he'd never love another person, never love the same way ever again. And in the past, that actually worked quite well.

Currently? Well, he thinks he might have screwed up and fallen for someone anyway.

It's the same man sitting on the couch in their room, only an hour after their live show.

Okay, yes, he'll admit, he knows this is cliche, the best-friend-turned-into-crush situation that everyone seems to think is happening, that all of their fans want so desperately to see happen.

Well, it really is happening, but is it really his fault? Why did Dan decide to be so sweet and adorable, to the point where he could probably change a man's sexuality effortlessly? It's certainly not Arin's fault that his bisexual ass decided to fall for his best friend. I mean, really, it's pretty much inevitable that Arin fell in love with such a charming man that he spends so much time with. What else could have happened; what else could Arin have done?

 _Leigh Daniel Avidan._ Sometimes, he wishes those words were written upon him instead, instead of the mess of scribbles currently gracing his skin. And vice versa, that his name is neatly printed on Dan, instead of some stranger's name that will never, ever be him.

Still, if he could choose now, he'd choose Dan over anyone any day.

Actually, speaking of Dan, Arin's actually starting to get concerned about his best friend right now, because he's been sitting in the same exact spot, staring into the distance for a very long time.

"Dan? Are you alright?" He asks quietly, moving slowly to the back of the couch, standing over Dan. His fluffy hair is right below him, and Arin resists the urge to run his hands through it. He just lets his presence be known, quietly trying to not invade Dan's personal space unless warranted.

Dan lets out a sigh, but says nothing else. Arin puts his hands down in front of Dan, who grabs said hands. Arin smiles, staring down at the man who he's been in love with for almost four years.

"My soulmate was a girl back in New York."

Arin didn't say anything, unsure what to say to that in the moment. Instead, he freezes, attempting to process those nine words.

Okay, so some person at the show decided to question them about soulmate stuff. Arin had brushed it off, used to dealing with questions that struck close to home. While Dan did the same thing, it appears to have still affected him on the inside. He should really get them to stop asking super personal questions in order to respect their privacy and personal bubbles. He'll probably figure something out later.

"She, uh... chose someone else."

"Ah." Arin said, uselessly adding nothing to the conversation. He didn't know what else to say though, so he kept his mouth shut, listening to his friend open up to him about things that had previously quietly agreed to never bring up.

"My friend tried to introduce us, actually. She wanted me to meet her new girlfriend, but who would have thought that..."

"Shh." Arin rested his head upon Dan's. "It's okay..."

"I just... wow." Dan let go of Arin's hands, flinging up his arms in a nonchalant manner. "Platonic soulmates aren't uncommon, but it turns out that we don't even get along with each other anyway."

"Mistake, then? Fluke of the universe?" Arin tried to make light of the situation, but internally, he might have started to freak out. Turns out that both of them ended up with soulmates that... just didn't really work out the way that fate intended it to. Or maybe fate had intended it to go that way, and maybe both of them just ended up cursed with bad luck.

"Possibly," he shrugs. "Just wonder what would have happened if I actually did have a romantic soulmate, like most others. Instead, I got stuck with a lesbian, and we don't even click platonically."

Arin walks around the couch and plops to the right of Dan, resting his head on Dan's shoulder. "Sometimes, things happen, I guess."

"Yeah," Dan says with a sigh.

"Don't worry," Arin softly smiles, looking up into Dan's eyes. "You don't need a soulmate to find happiness."

Dan glances down, his eyes locked onto Arin. The younger man's heartbeat quickens, the thumping even being felt in his head. Dan smiles, and Arin's not sure if his heartbeat goes even faster or if it skips a few beats. He just knows that he's absolutely fallen for Dan, and if he wasn't sure before, this made him absolutely certain.

(But, duh, he's known for so long. He's the kind of person that others would whisper about, about those people who go against the will of destiny. Destiny had never decreed that he should fall in love with Dan, but oh, he sure did, didn't he? Was it so bad? To others, maybe, but Arin thinks that those people, including Destiny, can just shove off.)

Dan finds Arin's hand, grasping it suddenly without warning. Arin's eyes widen, to which Dan squeezes his hand and smiles. 

Arin feels that familiar warmth make his way through his body and into his heart. His chest feels like it's about to explode with emotion, so he rests his head on Dan's shoulder again and closes his eyes.

For a moment, everything's silent except for the slow, calm breathing coming from the two men.

If Arin concentrates hard enough, he can pretend that they were one, could pretend that they were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. He wants to believe that it's true, that the writing on the surface of their skin means nothing at all in the world. In the universe he imagines in his head, soulmates don't exist, just people that you just connect with. It's not one person that you're given one day at a irrelevant age that had meant nothing to you the day before -- there's only the people that you discover, the people that stay in your life, the people that you feel connected with. 

Arin wants so badly to choose to have someone in his life, no matter what those words on his arm used to say.

"These words, this writing, on the surface of my skin..." Arin mutters. Silence from Dan makes him continue on.

"How can nothing turn into something, and how can something turn into nothing?" Arin squeezes his eyes shut, gripping Dan's hand even tighter. He doesn't seem to complain though.

"Arin?" Dan asks softly.

"I met Suzanne Berhow at a convention at fifteen."

Dan breathes in heavily, but says nothing.

Arin continues.

"I thought she was cute. She - I - well, we kept in contact. Good friends. Had a small crush on her, but never said a word. She is - well, I mean - uh, was, beautiful. Yeah."

"Was..." Dan breathed out slowly, as if it was all coming together in his head nicely. Arin bit his lip.

"When I turned eighteen, I got her name. And when she found out I kept it from her, we started dating. Then, she got my name, and everything seemed perfect. A dream come true."

Arin opened his eyes and let go of Dan's hand. He stared off into the distance, trying to calm his breathing. Dan rested his head on Arin, and then for a moment, Arin felt that it was going to be okay, then trying to gather the strength to continue.

"When I was twenty-two, I got a call from the hospital."

"Arin..."

"She was barely recognizable, but... it was her. That tangled mess of limbs and all those marks and scars..."

Dan grabbed onto Arin's hand again. He could feel the tears about to come, so he just sat there at Dan's side, silent.

"Life's not fair, is it?" Dan let out a small laugh, that signified that it was the exact opposite of funny. "Life's really fucked us over, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I don't really believe in fate," Dan began, lifting up his head. "I think I've said that in a Grumps episode, but... I've always let myself not get too hung up on the words on my wrist, before and especially after I met that girl who's name matches those words." He shakes his head. "People think it's dumb, but I loved being able to fall in love on my own, without any strings of destiny trying to lead me along a certain path."

"Ah." Arin nodded, sitting back up straight. "Funny you say that, because I've done only the opposite."

Dan raised an eyebrow. Arin glanced up at his friend, suddenly overwhelmed by just how much they had just spilled to each other in the manner of minutes. They were best friends, who knew much about each other, but this subject had never come up. Somehow, he feels that he knows him so much better now, feels that he's really understood who Danny is, right at his core.

"I never let myself fall in love after Suzy died."

"Wow..." Dan smiles slightly. "That takes a lot of willpower, doesn't it?"

"Well," Arin grins. "It wasn't that hard the first couple of years. Afterwards, I just felt that it was best to respect her. But now..."

"Now..." Dan blinks expectedly, as if he's anticipating something. Arin almost lets an _I love you_ fall out, but he bites it back, trying to not let it slip.

"Now, I... did a lot of thinking, and... I think that Destiny can go fuck itself."

Dan let out a bout of laughter, to which Arin's eyes soften, seeing his friend almost falling over due to laughing. He loves making his friend smile, making him happy. It's the most exhilarating feeling in the world, and his little crush might have made it even more thrilling.

"Oh, yeah, huh?" Dan finally stops laughing, though the grin on his face continues to stay just as wide on his face. "So, you let yourself fall in love again?"

"Yeah..." Arin says, almost unable to speak due to his enthrallment with how beautiful Dan looked in that moment. If he could capture that moment in a jar, he wouldn't hesitate to say that it would be worth more than all the money in the world. Money doesn't even come close to the worth of Dan's happiness.

"Well, guess we're both free from the strings of Destiny, hm?" Dan's eyes almost twinkle as he reaches forward to wrap his arms around Arin. Arin breathes in the scent of Dan, undescrible yet so desirable. He doesn't think, can't think; he loved Suzy once, but that was only once, and now? Now, Dan was the only person on his mind and-

"I have to tell you something." 

Both men sit up straight to stare at each other, speechless at the fact that they had both said the exact same thing at the exact same time. Arin looks into Dan's eyes and sees surprise and a bit of urgency and worry.

"You - uh - just, uh, yeah - you can go first." Arin trips over his words, scratching the back of his head.

"Oh, uhm. Yeah. Okay. Just, uh. I didn't prepare how to say this; I just wanted to say it, but I didn't - uh. Well, you see..." Dan's confidence dwindles, and Arin can see it falling straight to the ground.

"You can just say it." Arin smiles comfortingly, squeezing Dan's hand. "Don't think you need an elaborate speech to tell your best friend something."

"I'm in love with you."

Arin's mind goes blank. He can't even begin to process the five words that came out of Dan's mouth - he just gapes at Dan, who looks sheepish now.

"Listen, I, uh. Fuck, I shouldn't have dropped it on you like this. It's just that - well, I - I'm not used to this kind of thing? I've liked girls before, and I've dated them, and whatever. But I've never fallen for someone like you before. I've never liked men before you. And you're so... perfectly amazing and wonderful, it's hard to see why it took me so long to realize what I felt and-"

Dan cuts himself off, looking into Arin's eyes.

"Shit, sorry, was that too much?"

Arin bites his lip. "No, I, uh."

"A-Arin?" Dan says so quietly out of nervousness, that Arin's instincts drop all of his feelings and thoughts in order to reach back out to Dan.

"No, no, Dan, it's just - fuck, well - that's exactly what I was going to say."

"Wait, so-"

"I love you, Dan." Arin spills out quickly, and then backs off a bit. "Shit, uh. So, ditto? Except for the liking men part. I've known that I was bisexual for a long time."

"Well, shit. Okay. Fuck!"

"Dan, you good, bro?"

"How can you call me bro after we both just admitted romantic, non-platonic feelings for each other?"

Arin giggles, and Dan smiles.

"I just didn't expect this to happen. Every scenario I thought out never turned out like this."

Arin rests his head on Dan's shoulder again, and lets out a relieved sigh. This has probably been the most eventful fifteen minutes of his life, and the ending was beautiful. And the future? With Dan, he thinks that anything can be possible. And he wants anything to come soon.

"I love you." Dan whispers again, lifting Arin's hand to press a kiss on it. He turns it over, to see the scars of another person's name.

Arin holds his breath, confused at the way Dan stares.

Then, suddenly, he presses a kiss there, too.

"Dan?" Arin asks questioningly.

"I love her, too. Everything led you to me, and I to you. She's a part of your past, and she led me to you."

"So that's why you write music, you cheesy poetic fucker."

"You know it!" Dan laughed. "And you love me."

"I do," Arin says weakly, rolling his eyes at his new boyfriend(?!). "I really, really do."

-

One day, Arin wakes up to see the words _Leigh Daniel Avidan_ scrawled on his wrist.

He turns back over, arm slinged around Dan's waist, and falls back asleep with a hint of a smile gracing his features.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading my fic lol. kudos/comments make my day! i'm vinndetta on tumblr/ko-fi, vinndictive on twitter, come @ me. :p


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